


Enough to Go Around

by hunters_retreat



Category: Dark Angel
Genre: Insanity, M/M, Non-Consensual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-15
Updated: 2010-08-15
Packaged: 2018-01-08 02:13:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1127170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec had only one real directive in life, to take care of his brother Ben. It’s always been enough to get them by, at least until they move to Seattle. One night on the town and everything Alec has come to trust in his life is thrown on end as old crimes come back to haunt him, new enemies rise to the surface, and a stranger with a pair of startling green eyes makes him question everything he’s always taken for granted about family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enough to Go Around

**Author's Note:**

> Please take a moment to look at the amazing art! davincis_girl is an amazing artist and you can find the art here at her [ Master Art Post](http://davincis-girl.livejournal.com/142190.html#cutid1).
> 
> Dedication: This story is dedicated to sammyndeansgrl1 . She also beta’ed this story for me but never got to see the final product. She was an amazing support and I know I’m not the only person in fandom who will miss the wonderful person that she was.

 

 He saw him at a distance, across the compound while he was running messages to a guard he was never supposed to know from a guard that wasn’t supposed to let him out of his room just then.  He stopped, hiding himself behind a wall of soldiers as he watched the other boy with his face moving with his unit. 

He didn’t know why there was another, but it meant something.  X5-494 had always felt different from the others.  Now, he knew why.  He was a brother.      

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**  


 “You know we’re not allowed up here.”

Alec looked at the other boy and smiled, just the corner of his lips turning up in response to the censure.  “And yet you pointed it out to me and followed me up here.”

He looked out from the top of the building and across the large complex, wondering about the world outside Manticore’s walls.  He rubbed at the back of his neck, his fingers brushing over the barcode that rested just above his tee-shirt.  He looked back at Ben and smiled.  “Besides, you were already breaking the rules by sneaking out to talk to me.  Somehow I don’t think you’re as worried about that as you want me to think.”

Ben smiled at him and Alec knew it was the same smile he gave the guards when he was trying to get away with something.  It worked on them and Alec could feel himself grinning in return.  Ben’s enthusiasm for things was infectious.  He’d seen the others crowd around him, remembered the first time he sat listening to Ben tell his stories and he’d been pulled in by it too.  Of course he hadn’t gone to him yet, but once he got a look at his face he’d started planning ways to meet him.  Once Ben knew about his existence he was constantly trying to get Alec to meet him more often.   

“We’re in the high place.  Nothing bad can happen to us up here.”

Alec looked away from Ben, from the words that seemed to be the biggest gulf between them.  Ben’s belief was beyond logic and deceptively charming in its earnestness.  When he thought it was all just stories to pass the time Alec didn’t worry.  When he realized that Ben truly believed in the Blue Lady that would protect them and care for them he tried to back away.  He couldn’t keep himself from remembering the hurt look in Ben’s eyes when he told him they couldn’t keep sneaking out though, so he ended up trying to talk to him instead, to keep his delusions to himself.

“Ben, have you been talking about it again?”

Ben looked down at his feet, blue slippers digging into the grit on the rooftop.   “It helps.  Jack was sick again yesterday.  It makes them feel better to hear about the Blue Lady.”

“Ben, you have to trust me.  I know you want to help them, but it’s only going to make things worse.  You’ve got to look out for yourself.”

“They’re my unit Alec, my family.”

“And what am I?”  The words were out of his mouth before he realized he was about to say them.  It never mattered to Ben that they were brothers, identical in every way except for the barcode on their necks.  He would call Alec brother, but he would never think of him the way he thought of his unit and it stung all the more because Alec knew trouble was coming.  It was in his gut and he trusted that above all else.

“Alec, you’re my brother, but they’re family too.”

Alec let out a deep breath because it was pointless to argue with Ben.  He believed what he believed.  Part of the real problem though, was that his unit was ready to believe with him.  If they called him to task for telling stories he’d stop, but they were caught up in Ben and the stories that his words wove around them.

“Ben,” he took hold of his brother’s arms and Ben looked down in surprise.  There was very little physical contact allowed at Manticore and Alec used it to stress his words.  “You need to be careful.  Something’s happening and it’s not going to be pretty.  I’ll find us a way out Ben, but you have to hold on for me until then, alright?”

“You’ll get the others out too, right?”

“I said I would.”

Ben nodded.  “Okay Alec.  I’ll be careful.”

He didn’t think Ben really knew what that meant but Alec nodded anyway.  There was nothing else he could do.  Ben wouldn’t leave without his unit and if he stayed much longer Alec was sure they’d find out about Ben’s instability.  It would mean psy-ops for both of them, but in the end Manticore would discover it wasn’t enough, they’d know that Ben wasn’t like the rest of them and never would be.  They’d put him down before they’d let a rabid X-5 walk out of there alive.

Alec intended to see his brother live.  Even if it mean he had to put them down first. 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**  


The only surprise in the whole of the escape had been when Ben agreed to leave with Alec.  Alec thought he’d end up tagging along behind Ben and Max the way his brother talked about her but instead Ben had hugged her, telling her to be strong and to remember the Blue Lady.  Then he’d walked off with Alec, a small smile on his face.

Two weeks later, Alec was starting to wish he’d just brought his brother’s sister with them.  There was safety in their solitude, but Ben moped around without the others and Alec wasn’t sure how to stop him.  It wasn’t like he had a manual on how to keep a ten year old happy.  He was only eleven himself after all, but he did the best he could.  He’d gotten Ben and the others out.  Now he just had to find a way to keep Ben safe and sane. 

Alec moved back into the shadows, the bags in his hands full and their scent making his mouth water.  He found Ben where he’d left him, at a bench in the park.  No one noticed two stray kids in the park.  No one wondered where their parents were, especially not when Alec made a point of befriending any adult couple who seemed to be there for a few hours, checking back every so often to make him look to any outsider like the dutiful son coming to report to his parents. 

He sat on the bench next to Ben and pulled out a burger and fries for each other them.  In the second bag he pulled out two bottles of soda.  Ben frowned at him and Alec just smiled.  “Come on Ben, eat up.”

“This doesn’t look like something we should eat.”

“Smells good though, doesn’t it?”  It was the same argument every time Alec tried to get Ben to eat something that didn’t remind him of Manticore rations.  Alec had decided to embrace the change though, to try everything he could and not worry about whether Manticore would have liked it or not.  They were the reason he had escaped and he knew if they’d just been less of a threat to his brother, he would have been happy being a soldier.  Mostly happy anyway.  That wasn’t his lot in life though and so he tackled the challenges that came his way and made the best of what his life had become. 

“Yeah, it does.”

“Trust me.” 

Alec took a big bite and groaned in pleasure as the grease and ketchup made a mess of his chin.  Ben watched for a second, then grabbed the other one and took a bite. 

“Dats fery gud.”

Alec laughed at the way his brother’s words came out and Ben was smiling around the mouthful.  Alec popped a few fries into his mouth and watched as Ben dug into the rest of his food with gusto.  Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to get him to try new things in the future after all.

Later, when the food was long gone and they were finishing the last of the soda, they sat in the sun resting next to each other.  Alec didn’t allow himself to relax like that often, but in the middle of the day, under the sun in the center of a park he doubted Manticore soldiers were likely to come.  They wouldn’t make a scene until dark and Alec had plenty of escape routes to choose from in this particular location. 

It was good though and his thoughts drifted off to the next day and how many pockets he could pick in the park before security became an issue.  

“Hey Alec?”

“Yeah Ben?”  There was nothing sleepy in Ben’s voice though Alec had been certain his little brother would fall asleep in the warmth of the day.

“You think… you think she tried a burger yet?”

Alec closed his eyes against the momentary surge of jealousy and anger.  He wanted to scream at Ben and tell him he didn’t care if Max had eaten a damn thing since they’d escaped, that all he cared about was taking care of his little brother who wouldn’t even say thank you for everything he’d done for him, but all that came out was a sort of muffled sob that he covered as a cough.

He did the only thing he could.

“Yeah Ben.  I bet she likes them as much as you do.” 

Ben turned over onto his side and Alec looked up at him.  “Me too.” 

He took Alec’s hand in his own then, wrapped their fingers together and fell asleep against Alec’s shoulder.  Alec took a deep breath and forced his thoughts away from the exchange, focusing on what he’d have to do to see them through the next few days.  Maybe a few drunks in the night.  They’d be too wasted to wonder where their cards and cash were until morning and he’d have moved on by then anyway.  They’d been in Indiana too long already.    

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**  


 It wasn’t home exactly, but in his mind, it was really damn close.  Alec wasn’t sure what home was but he had always imagined it was like this and he was happy there.   After four years of trying to make it work on the streets, he’d been caught red handed stealing from a local grocery store.  He could have fought his way out, taken what he needed, but the owner had taken one look at Alec and told him to take it.  He expected Alec back in the morning, ready to work for the things he needed.  Don had been a nice guy, laid back and had a soft spot for strays.  When Alec brought Ben a few weeks later, Don took them both in.

He’d been a foster kid himself and when he asked questions, Ben’s instability and Alec’s protectiveness answered him more often than not.  He didn’t know their story and didn’t press them to talk, just left himself open for it.  He assumed there was past abuse in their history and Alec played into it sometimes, knowing he couldn’t explain the real events of their lives.  Abuse was really just the tip of it for them anyway. 

Don was good to them though.  His wife Nat dotted on Ben and their fifteen year old daughter was always following Alec around, much to the couple’s amusement. 

“In a few years, we might have to worry,” he’d heard Don talking the first night they stayed in the family’s spare room.  “Even if he and Mandy are the same age, all Alec sees is taking care of Ben.  By the time he knows he’s safe with us, that he can let his guard down enough to let someone else into his life, Mandy won’t remember this crush.”

“Not that I blame her,” Nat had laughed.  “Those boys are both going to be a handful when they start dating.  I don’t know if I have the strength.”

Alec had crept away, a funny feeling worming its way through his heart.  It felt good and made him sick to his stomach at the same time.  When he returned to his room he’d slept fitfully, waking each time with the words mission, duty, and discipline screaming in his head.

He learned to sleep through it eventually.

Only now, it looked like it was time to go again. After a year, they’d finally come to the end of their stay. 

Ben stared at Mandy and the girl didn’t have the sense to back down from the murderous glare Ben directed at her.  “You don’t tell me what to do,” he said quietly.

“Those are the rules Ben!” she said with a tone of finality that made Alec cringe.  She reached out for him and Alec wasn’t sure what she planned, but he knew it was the wrong thing to do.

“Don’t touch me!”  Ben screamed as he pushed her back.  “You’re not my sister!”  His stance shifted and Alec was moving before he knew exactly what to expect.  He got between them just as Ben’s fist would have smashed into her skull.  Instead, Alec blocked, turning Ben with the momentum and pushing him into the other wall.

Ben turned quickly, his eyes screaming at Alec even though his voice was calm.  “You’re not my sister either.”

“No,” Alec said, straightening his stance.  “I’m not.”

Ben left without another word and Alec dropped onto Mandy’s bed, burying his head in his hands for a minute before he felt her hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry Alec.  I didn’t… Dad never told me you had a sister.”

He didn’t know how to correct her or the assumptions she was making.  It was easier really, if she accepted the mysterious hidden trauma in their past that Don and Nat already believed in. 

He cursed his luck because he’d really been getting used to the idea of having a steady place, but he couldn’t stay now.  Ben couldn’t be trusted with Mandy anymore and he refused to let her be hurt.  Instead of answering her words, he just let his hand rest on hers for a minute, then got up and headed to the room he shared with Ben.

Ben was lying on the bed, his back to the door in a way that Alec could never lay.  He was too vulnerable and he thought maybe that was part of the problem in the first place.  Ben was just too vulnerable for the world he’d been born into.  Maybe if he’d have been born on the outside, with a normal family, he’d have been alright.

Alec took a deep breath and started packing their things.  Ben didn’t say anything but Alec had pulled both of their clothes from the drawer beside him so he had to know what he was planning.  When he had their clothes, he packed the few books he and Ben had collected.  There was still enough room in their packs for him to raid the kitchen before they left.  He had an envelope to collect also.  Don… he’d told Alec once that he understood, that if the day ever came again, there was an envelope waiting for him in the bottom drawer in the den.  He didn’t know what exactly was in the envelope, but he expected it was money.     He’d find out tonight on their way out.

Everything was done, except he needed to wait for Don and Nat to get home and go to bed before they could take off.  He might be leaving, but he wasn’t going to leave Mandy home alone.  He wasn’t that sort of person.  She’d be alright though.  He’d taught her a few things in self defense and she’d been a quick study for an ordinary. 

He lay down on the bed next to Ben and his brother rolled over until they were both on their backs, bodies pressed flush from calf to shoulder. 

“They used to turn the lights off in the barracks when it was really dark out,” Ben started, his voice soft and melodic.  “But Tinga was afraid of the dark.  So as soon as we knew the guards were gone, I’d bring out this flash light that I’d stolen and hid under my pillow. One of the others would hold it and I would make shadow figures on the wall.  Tinga loved birds so I’d tell her stories about the birds and what they would say to one another when they flew away.”

Alec closed his eyes, listening to his brother’s voice.  The birds always left the nest, Ben told them all in the darkness.  They always went off, looking to find the missing piece of themselves. 

Alec let himself relax a little longer and then they were gone.  He just hoped it was easier on Mandy.  With all the things they’d made assumptions about, all the ways Alec had played them up, it would be easy to explain the empty guest room in the morning.    

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**  


“Where have you been?”

He dumped his jacket on the couch and kicked his shoes off, rolling his neck as he tried to loosen the tightness there.  Not that he hadn’t just had a bit of stress relief, but lately as soon as he walked in the door he started to feel tense again.  He looked over at Ben who was glaring across the room at him. 

Alec bit back a bitter laugh.  It wasn’t like he had to wonder why he was tense.

“Went out.”

“With who?”

Alec sighed.  He wasn’t sure what to make with Ben’s current preoccupation with his love life.  He knew that his brother was still trying to find his footing after leaving Don’s, but so was he and it wasn’t like Alec had left for his own good.  He’d gone for Ben again, something his brother would never acknowledge.  He wasn’t even sure Ben could recognize it.  They’d been doing this for so long he doubted Ben understood; Alec took care of him, Ben bitched about whatever Alec did, reminding him over and over that he wasn’t as good as Max or Manticore had been, and Alec always took it.  He’d always managed to keep from yelling back that Manticore would have killed him if Alec hadn’t taken him away when he did, but just barely.  It was only a matter of time before Alec let it slip.

“Glenda,” he snapped.  It was only the second time he’d seen her.  No matter what anyone else thought of him, Alec wasn’t about to start a real relationship with someone until he’d been able to settle down for a while.  It would be nice to have a steady girlfriend, someone he didn’t have to constantly try to impress, but he wasn’t going to hurt someone just because he was passing through.  Besides, he doubted Ben was able to share just yet.  In the six years since they’d been on the run from Manticore, he’d never learned how to do that.  No matter that Ben still wanted Max around, that he still talked about her and the rest of his unit like they were saints, he couldn’t do without Alec either. 

He sometimes wondered if Ben had gone with Max if he’d have spouted off about him the way he did her now.  He had his doubts about that though.  Ben had been fixated on Max a long time before he got messed up with them. 

Ben scoffed.  “Glenda?  The trailer trash with the three cats and two older brothers who looked like they want to eat you for lunch?”

“Good thing I’m too big for a mouthful then,” he smirked.

Ben rolled his eyes.  “She’s beneath you Alec.”

He sighed, walking back to his room without giving Ben a reply.  There was nothing he could say to make Ben think otherwise.  He might not think Alec was good enough for Max, but he was better than anyone outside his unit.  At least he got that much acknowledgement from his brother. 

He stripped out of his clothes and was halfway to the shower before Ben followed him into the room, looking at Alec with his head cocked to one side.

“You look stronger than me.”

“I am stronger than you,” Alec turned on the water and stepped under the spray, letting the heat sooth his body from the nights’ events.

He didn’t realize Ben was still there until he heard his voice from the other side of the shower curtain.  “I think I should have a talk with her.”

“What?”

“Glenda.  I think I need to talk to her.”

“Ben, no.”

“Yeah Alec.  I think I do.  She’s out of her league and she should know it.”

“That’s not your call to make,” Alec said, pulling the curtain aside as he looked out at his brother.  There was something in Ben’s eyes though and Alec sighed.  He’d seen that look before.  Mandy had only been the first and in the last year since he’d come to recognize that look Alec hadn’t always been it in time to stop it. 

“Besides, it doesn’t matter.”  Alec forced himself back under the hot water, damning himself the whole time for the choice he was making.  “I won’t be seeing her again anyway.  She was fun and all, but she was starting to get needy.”  He was grateful that Ben had never been able to recognize his lies.  “It’s over with her.”

“Yeah?” 

The hopeful note in Ben’s voice gave Alec pause.  As much as he did what he did to keep Ben sane and happy, there were times when it was just too much, when he knew that no matter what he did Ben was losing his handle on the world.  Other times though, he just sounded like a bratty little brother that needed his big brother’s attention.

“Yeah.”

“So… you think we could do something tomorrow?”

Alec washed his hair before turning off the water.  A towel was thrust behind the shower curtain and Alec toweled off quickly before wrapping it around his waist and stepping out of the tub. 

“Sure.  What do you think?”

“Could go down to the docks?”

Alec smiled then, real and honest.  At sixteen his brother hadn’t lost his fascination with the docks.  Sometimes Alec thought it was the seagulls and the memories he had of making shadow birds for his unit, but others he thought it might just be fond memories of the days they’d spent on the docks right after the escape, when it had been easier to hide there and steal what they needed than to be in the big cities.   Before the pulse when there were still cops and civil servants wondered about two strays walking around during school hours looking homeless.

“Sounds like fun.  Maybe we can get some work for the day?  Make some honest money, get out on the water?”

Ben’s face lit up and he chattered on about the possibility of going on a tour ship or maybe a fishing boat.  “Hey, you need something to eat?  I could make you something?”

Alec schooled his face to normal so Ben wouldn’t see his startled reaction.  Ben never offered things like that, always left Alec to take care of himself.  Maybe it meant something?  Or maybe it was just that Ben was excited.  Either way, Alec felt the affection coming from Ben in ways that he barely did anymore and he pushed the other thoughts aside, letting himself smile at the wave of love that washed over him.  “Yeah Ben.  I’d really like that.”   
  


  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -  
**  


 

 

He stared at the mirror and smiled at the reflection, his smirk perfected years before as a way of fending off the unwanted intrusions on his emotional state by his brother.  Alec sighed impatiently as he waited.  He’d never been very good at being patient.  Ben was the exception to that rule, always had been, but he really just wanted to get the hell out and get a beer.  A new city, a new life, a new apartment, and the night wasn’t getting any younger.

“You plan on coming out of there in this decade Princess?”  Alec called out.

He couldn’t hear the words that were muffled by the closed door between them, but he knew the tone and he was pretty sure dick or ass had been a major component of the sentence.  He smiled at a job well done.

He took a seat on the couch, closing his eyes at the soft fabric that covered it.  They’d scored the place when he’d watched some poor soul get caught by sector police.  Alec worked for a messenger company across town and he’d worked with the guy.  As soon as he realized the guy wasn’t gonna be coming home, he’d taken over the occupancy.   Too bad really, because Gary had been a decent guy, even if he was boring.  He had a thing for comfort though and he must have been collecting the stuff in his apartment for years to have everything so nice. 

Not that you’d be able to tell it from the outside.  The building was a dump.  The neighborhood had been high priced once upon a time, with its high rises and corporate appeal, but the post-pulse world just saw the ruins. 

He liked Seattle though.  None of the places had been too bad, but Seattle was different.  Chicago had too many bad memories for his taste.  He couldn’t think of it and not think of Don and his family, no matter how many years had passed since they tried to make it home.  Miami reminded him of Manticore’s desert experiments and he’d been happy enough to leave there.  Hell, he’d actually considered proposing to a girl to get Ben’s jealousy riled up enough to get him out of the state.  He still didn’t know what Ben had seen in it.  New York hadn’t been bad, but the cold bothered him and he always got a doomed feeling as he walked along the streets that had once had so much more life and energy.  Not that New York was boring by any means, but he had a few memories of the days before the Pulse and it seemed too depressing to stay there for long.

Seattle was brand new to them though.  In all their years traveling they’d never settled there even for a short time.  It felt cleaner to him than the others.  Maybe it was the rain that tended to wash the dust away, or the fact that people were just more open and honest about themselves.  Maybe it was just that he hadn’t come as a child trying to survive in an adult world.  Maybe it was because Seattle was untainted by memories of his childhood. 

He just hoped they got to stay for a while.  He’d keep a closer eye on his brother and there wouldn’t be a problem.  There wouldn’t.  He promised himself last time that it couldn’t happen again and there was just no way he was going to be forced to do the unthinkable.

“Need more beauty sleep?” 

Ben pulled him out of his thoughts and Alec opened his eyes to look up at his brother.  The years had been good to him, but there was something wild in Ben’s demeanor that made people flock to him or made them very wary of him.  Alec still wasn’t sure which category he fell under, but it didn’t really matter.  He and Ben, they were all each other had.  In all the years they’d never picked up any other strays, never re-connected with the other X-5s of Ben’s unit.  With one notable exception, but Alec wasn’t about to let Ben know that Zach was in touch with him.  Zach was keeping an eye on them all, but Alec had spotted him tailing them back before Chicago.  They’d come to an easy agreement to keep in touch, so long as they kept out of each other’s way.  The last think Alec wanted was to have Ben looking for his ‘brothers and sisters’.  He had enough trouble keeping the contents of his lunch when Ben went on his ‘Max is God’ kick.  He didn’t need the ‘Unit is everything’ speech to go with it.    

Especially when things got bad and Ben remembered how Alec had left his unit to get Ben and his people out.  It normally ended in gratitude, but not always.  Sometimes, Alec was a traitor and a betrayer and something that should have been put down in the basement with the nomalies.

“Fuck you.”  Alec stood up from the couch but there was a smile on his face as he did so.  “You ready to head?”

“Yeah.  What’s this place called again?”

“Crash.  One of the messengers told me about it, said that some of the guys from one of the other messenger companies hang there too.  So a lot of like minded, hot young coeds just looking for someone like me to end their night of boredom.”

“Hope they have a coat check at the door because you won’t be able to work the room with all that ego getting in your way.”

Alec laughed as he opened the door.  “Don’t worry little brother, I’ll make sure to leave a little room for you to work.”

“Yeah, after you leave.”

Alec threw his arm over Ben’s shoulder as they walked out.  “You betcha.” 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

The place was nicer than Alec thought it would be, and much to his delight, full of a wide assortment of people.  He enjoyed the banter and back and forth that came with a large mixed crowd and Crash had just that.  He got a seat at the bar and ordered two drinks as Ben sat next to him, elbows on the bar, looking out into the masses. 

“Think you got a chance?”

“You’ve seen me, right?”

“I look in the mirror every day.”  Ben said with a smirk.  It wasn’t as warm as Alec’s but he knew his brother could be a charmer when he wanted.  Ben’s magnetism was in his enthusiasm.  Get him going on something he really believed in and his passion was almost addicting.  He still didn’t have any trouble understanding why he’d had to get him clear of Manticore all those years ago even though he’d barely known him.  He didn’t have any trouble understanding why his whole unit had been willing to follow him either.   To know him is to love him wasn’t invented for Ben, but it sounded about right.

“You making a play tonight, or just gonna nurse your drink?”  Alec asked.

Ben took the drink Alec handed him and sipped it lightly.  “Might just people watch a bit.”

“So the usual.”  Alec shook his head, never understanding Ben’s fascination with watching people without interacting with them.  It was safer really, for all of them, if Ben kept his distance from people, but they didn’t know that and Alec wasn’t sure Ben realized it himself.  He wasn’t sure, even with everything that had been happening in the last few years, that Ben saw himself as a threat to the people they interacted with everyday.

Alec knew he was a threat.  He knew that every man or women he went to bed with was in danger of Ben’s wrath.  He knew that anyone he connected with was in danger of his brother’s insane jealousy.  He’d learned to deal with it a long time ago.  He accepted it for what it was, learned to make sure not to mention anyone too often, to hang out with Ben more than he was gone, and to keep his partners scattered and varied.  So long as Alec didn’t find anyone special Ben could contain the jealousy.  If he got too attached though it was a repeat of Mandy all over again. 

“Guess that means I know where you’ll end up tonight.”

Alec smiled.  “The night is young my brother.  I have no idea where it will take me, but we’re about to find out.”

He left his brother’s side then, knowing Ben would behave himself.  After all, they were new in town and Alec had been spending a lot of time with him.  He needed a night out and he was sure his brother could use the space as well.

Later that night, when he was well entrenched in a brunette with the biggest set of brown eyes he’d ever seen, Ben came over and let him know he was going home.  It was still early and Alec worried that Ben was getting sick but his brother scoffed at that, telling Alec to stop mother hen-ing him and to have fun.  The whole exchange felt off, but Alec wanted to get laid and while the girl on his arm wasn’t the most beautiful person in the room, that honor went to a guy with green eyes he’d seen earlier who had disappeared almost as soon as he’d shown up, she was hot and interested and willing to let things happen.  He let Ben go without too much thought.  If his brother wanted to go home and sleep away the best part of the weekend, it was his call to make. 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

“So, you wanna head back there tonight?”  Ben asked when Alec strolled up to the kitchen table around three the next afternoon.

“Thought you didn’t like the place?”

“I liked it.  Why’d you think I didn’t?”

“You left early.”

“Yeah, well, I just needed some time, you know?  It was fun.  We should go again tonight.  See if we can meet some of the people who work in the neighborhood.  You never know.  Maybe you could get some work with that messenger company you were talking about, Jam Pony?  The one that’s closer to us now?”

Alec shrugged.  He wasn’t sure he wanted to change his place of business.  Truth be told he sort of liked keeping his home away from his work.  It allowed him more freedom to act the way he felt he needed to.  Still, it never hurt to have options, or to get the scoop on the competition.

“Yeah, we can head out again tonight.”  He didn’t reply, but Ben’s smile was only partially hidden by the lunch he’d made for them.    

 

 

As soon as they walked in, Alec felt his hackles rise.  There was no sign of danger except for the way Ben’s eyes strayed through the crowd like he was looking for something.  Ben looking for something was never a good sign in Alec’s opinion.

“Got a hot date you weren’t telling me about?”  He asked as they slid up to the bar again.

Ben looked down, blushing slightly.  “No, nothing like that.  Just… maybe someone caught my eye when I was leaving last night.”

Ben didn’t normally go out looking for a bed to fill, but it was known to happen.  He wasn’t a monk after all, no matter that he still clung to his belief in the Blue Lady.  He thought half the reason Ben liked Seattle as much as he did was because of the number of churches in the area that had some sort of shrine or worship set up around her.

They didn’t talk about that.  It was something they both avoided and Alec felt his hand stray to the scar just above his left hip without noticing it.  Ben’s eyes must have caught it though because he was pulling Alec’s hand away from it before he could touch it. 

Neither liked the reminder of that fight and whatever else was in Ben’s mind for the night, it had nothing to do with the Blue Lady.  He could see it in his eyes and he shook his head slightly. 

“If she comes in tonight you’ll have to show me.”  Alec said, ignoring the pained exchange with a well practiced diversion.

“If she comes in tonight I’ll have her out the door before she you can come close enough to steal her away.”

“Fair enough little brother.  Can’t say I blame you.  I am awesome.”

He threw back his shot and smiled as he realized Green Eyes was back tonight.  He was sitting at a table with a few others and Alec didn’t bother approaching but he could feel his eyes watching him as he ordered another shot.  Ben knew about the men in Alec’s life, but his jealousy always notched up more around them so he never flaunted it in front of him. 

Instead he toyed around the edges of the crowd, smiling when the music kicked up louder and people began dancing in the center of the bar.  He joined in, dancing at the edge, moving from place to place, always with an eye on the guy. 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been dancing before Ben found him, wrapping an arm around his wrist and pulling him close enough to yell over the music that he was leaving.  Alec nodded him away, but as he turned back to check on Green Eyes, he was met with a look of regret as the man stood from his table and followed his friends out the door.

He wanted to curse his luck, but he figured if the man was a regular there was always another night.  After all, that look had been pretty telling.  If Green Eyes was regretting not hooking up tonight, the next time they met up would be explosive.

Until then, he shifted onto the dance floor and found himself a couple who pulled them into the center of their arms.  He ended the night that way too, wrapped between two hot bodies, slick and sweaty, but still seeing Green Eyes in his mind. 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

Ben wasn’t around the next day and that made Alec nervous.  Ben never went long without checking in with Alec.  When he got home from work and Ben still wasn’t there, Alec knew there was something to worry about. 

It was easy enough to wait for Ben to come home, to call off work without telling him, and to hide outside the building.  Ben had never been good at noticing a tail.  Since his days at Manticore he’d let a lot of his training go.  Alec thought he might have let it all go, except for the physical aspects which they both needed to help keep them from going insane.  Trained as they had been, living a sedentary lifestyle was too much.  They worked out, ran, swam, whatever it took to burn off the energy that Manticore had built into their systems.  They sparred from time to time too, honing their skills and making the other reach for more than anyone else could.  Alec always won, always had the killer instinct that Ben had lacked, but they never took it easy on each other either.

The funny thing was that Alec had been the assassin, the one that had been more easily amendable to the deaths that they were expected to deal.  Ben, who had been too soft and vulnerable, was the one that was the threat.  He still didn’t have it in him to go for the kill blows though.  When they sparred he always dropped back, always held off, and it was an instinctive thing.  The times that Ben struck out in violence, when he hurt people, it was the instability in him acting out, not his brother and Alec had always understood that.

It made it harder to trust him.

It made him easy to follow and easier to read. 

It made it that much more painful when he realized what had Ben acting the way he did. 

When he found him stalking the other messenger company, he thought it was sort of funny that Ben was checking out the competition.  After all, Ben worked as a messenger part time for the fun of it really.  They had far more lucrative ways of getting money.  The messenger job was just a great way of getting around without anyone noticing him.

They weren’t apparently the only ones to figure that out.  As he kept a discrete eye on Ben he realized that his brother was watching a particular messenger.  At first he thought it was just a girl he’d met at the bar.  Sometimes Ben would get shy and almost backward in his social interactions, while other times he was as cock-sure as Alec.  This wasn’t just any girl though.  It’d taken him two days on the path to realize what it was about her that had Ben following her. 

She was an X-5. 

It didn’t take much more to figure out the rest.  Ben watched Max from a distance and Alec watched them both. 

She was beautiful, far more so than he would have thought from the girl he’d seen at ten years old.  There was something almost exotic about her and he wouldn’t have blamed Ben for following her if it was just for that.  He knew who she was though and the fact that Ben had been hiding it from him made him sick to his stomach. 

He’d spent years trying to live up to the person Ben thought she was, and here she was, living in Seattle.  Ben had found his sister at last and Alec didn’t know where he fit anymore.  Anger filled him and he wanted to take care of Max, to remove her from the equation so he never had to worry about losing Ben again, but he knew he couldn’t.  He wasn’t the man Manticore had been trying to make him into.  He’d had a lifetime of taking care of Ben and even if he could damn his own soul and kill Max, he couldn’t destroy the brother he loved. 

He didn’t know what to do.  He needed to regroup and form a plan, find some way of dealing with it before he confronted Ben about it.    He snuck away from his hiding spot, quiet and deadly, and went deeper into the city.  By the time night hit, he was well into the bottle and he had no plans of coming out anytime soon. 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

It took a few days of being in and out of the bottle, finding himself in strange beds and strange arms, to realize that he needed a better plan.  Still, for the benefit of the doubt he gave it a full week to see if the distance and time made him feel any better.

He spent a day hung over, which spoke volumes of how much he’d drank considering his body’s metabolism, but once he’d showered and eaten something real he felt better.  At least about himself. 

He went back to sleep for a while and when he woke there was still no sign of Ben.  When Alec started looking around the apartment it just confirmed what he’d felt when he walked in.  Ben hadn’t been there in the week Alec had been drinking himself into oblivion.

There was only one thing to do about it.  He got dressed in dark clothes and pulled on a cap.  He went over to Crash but didn’t find either of them there.  He went over to Jam Pony but they were already closed up for the night.  He started retracing the path he’d taken when he was following Ben and Max and that gave him a little more success.

He didn’t find Ben, but he did find Max.  He watched her move quietly down the back alley of an industrial complex.  He knew the way she moved, the careful considerate movements, the efficiency of it, the way her head turned one way or another to hear inside the building or to get a better view of something too far away for an ordinary to notice.

Mission.

His thoughts turned to escape, but even as he started making contingency plans for getting Ben away from her, his mind was reminding him that she was there alone.  She wasn’t Manticore anymore, no matter what she was out doing.  She might be on a mission, but it was one of her own making.

He took a deep breath to calm himself and followed her further in.  The building was set in the industrial section, an area of town that had once given way to the docks and warehouses full of goods waiting to be shipped out or delivered to the right people. 

The building wasn’t heavily guarded but he noticed the sophisticated alarm system she’d bypassed.  The building was empty though, something that surprised Alec until he realized that Max was there for something beyond goods. 

Intelligence gathering then.

He watched her move through the building and paid attention to the office she went to, moving in closer than he wanted to in order to see what she was looking up.  He didn’t know what Max was doing, but he intended to find out.  She’d just end up drawing Ben into it anyway.  Best to know what he was getting into before it became an issue. 

Before he had to bust her out of an institution for the second time.

He watched her go and took a few minutes to see what was in the files she’d photographed before he moved on, trailing behind her as she made her way back into the city.

It was a fairly busy area she went to and she walked into the building like she owned it.  He could see where she went, could see the number on the elevator as it stopped at her destination and that was enough for him. 

Ben wasn’t there and whatever she was doing, he couldn’t follow her up that elevator without more information, or a lot of back up.  Too bad the only back up he had was likely to side with her in a fight. 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

He went to bed that night, alone, sober, and trying to think of the next step.  Always, the next step.  Contingency plans and escape routes.  Ulterior motives and allies and enemies.  He hated when his mind turned to that, but he let it go because he needed to be sure he and Ben were safe. 

Ben still hadn’t come home and Alec realized as he sat and ate a solitary breakfast that there was only one place Ben would turn to in a time like this.  He wouldn’t go inside himself, wouldn’t validate Ben’s beliefs or desecrate them by walking into her halls, but he waited outside Our Lady of the Sacred Heart.

He wasn’t waiting long before Ben came out, but his brother was moving much faster than he expected.  When Max came out a moment later he understood why.  Somehow she’d caught on to him.  He didn’t follow either of them.  He had a bad feeling and he needed to see if he was right before he started to jump to the wrong conclusion. 

It was easy enough to check out his fears.  Two deaths in the area, all fitting the same MO that he was all too familiar with.  They couldn’t give him all the details but he got confirmation in his own way.  When he broke in that night to get to the bodies they were already gone, all files gone.  Except for the fact that the ME had emailed a copy out to someone and he was able to trace the email and pull up what she’d sent.

He cringed as he looked at the pictures of the dead men, both with the same bar code, denoting them as X5-493.  He’d seen it before, snapped necks and broken limbs displayed for some purpose Alec had never been able to understand.  Twice in Chicago, four times in Miami, and three in New York before Alec had gotten them away.  Each time he thought he could keep an eye on his brother, that he’d be able to tell when he’d gone insane enough to kill for the Blue Lady, but he’d failed.   

He closed the computer down.  As much as he wanted to bury his head and hide, he had to get out of there before someone found him.  He had to get out of there before Ben did something stupid again, or before someone caught him doing it. 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

He went back to the scene of the first crime and even though the cops had made a mess of it, there was enough of a trace that he could get the general idea of where the man had come from.  The second scene was the same.  It was a pattern that the others didn’t recognize, but one that Alec knew without question. 

By evening he was walking inside the warehouse that his brother had obviously been running his mission through.  He’d have been sick at the inscriptions if he hadn’t seen them before, duty, mission, and discipline adorning the same type of building in three other cities.  In the three cities he’d caught him anyway.  He didn’t have any proof about Dayton or Austin, but he had his fears about those as well. 

There was a make shift cell in a storage room in the middle of the warehouse and he wanted to rip the place apart except he needed to keep Ben feeling safe there before he could confront him at it.  If he could catch him at it, he thought he might be able to get through to him.  It was catching him in the act that would take the most time.   

His hand strayed to his scarred hip, to the place Ben’s knife had sliced his flesh the first time he’d found his brother and tried to stop him.  There hadn’t been any proof though and only Ben’s unnaturally aggressive behavior had given him the confirmation that he’d needed. 

Ben had never apologized for the wound, but whenever things got tense between them Alec would feel it pulse under his skin.  Ben would stop him whenever he started to rub at it, never talking about it, not about the fight or the reason behind it, but he’d hold onto Alec’s wrist until he stopped, then do something for him, like getting dinner or doing his chores for him.  It never got easier to deal with, this thing between them, but he wasn’t going to be the one to give up on Ben.  He couldn’t leave him alone in the world the way he was and he couldn’t send him back to Manticore either.

Instead, he did the best he could, always watching for his brother to crack, always trying to make sure that when he did, he did as much damage control as he could before moving them along.

When he looked around the warehouse though, he wasn’t sure he could keep doing it.  Eight deaths were at his brother’s feet, eight men who had been God fearing, church going men who’d refused to denounce their faith in the face of death.  They didn’t deserve to die but Alec didn’t know how to stop it.

So he left.  He ran.  He made a quick retreat, as Manticore would have had him say, and he did the one thing he swore he’d avoid doing.  He made a phone call.

The ringing seemed too loud in his ear and he ignored the way his hand shook as he held the phone to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Zack, it’s Alec.”

“What happened?”

“I’m not sure.  We’re… we moved on again.  We’re in Seattle.”

“He found Max?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

Alec took a deep breath.  He’d never said anything to Zack about the rest of it but he was out of options.  “He’s… he’s killing people Zack.  He’s making it ritualistic and I can’t stop him.  I thought I could get him under control but I don’t know that anything can.”

“Ritualistic?”

He described the murders then, told Zack about the bodies that had been found and his own suspicions about his brother.  He told him about the places they’d moved, the reason why they’d moved more often than any of the others.  Zack didn’t say anything as he talked, but when Alec finished he let out a stream of curses that would have made Alec smile if the situation hadn’t been so dire.

“I got word from a friend that Lydecker is in your area Alec.  I was gonna come talk to Max and give her the heads up, but it sounds like Ben’s what brought this down on you.  You guys all need to get out of there.”

“No shit.”  

“Just get my brother out of this mess Alec and we’ll deal with the rest of it when Manticore isn’t breathing down his throat.”

Alec took a deep breath before responding.  “Yeah, I’ll give you a call when we’re resettled.  I’ll let Max know what’s going on too.”

“Thanks Alec.  Look, I know you weren’t part of my unit, but thanks for taking care of my kids.”

He wanted to throw the phone because of all people to be thanking him for taking care of Ben, he didn’t want it to come from another fucking kid.  He wanted it to come from his brother.  It wasn’t Zack’s fault that Ben was who he was though.

“Got it.”  He hung up without saying anything else.    

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

The sun was already high in the morning sky by the time he made his way back to Ben’s hideout.  A man running through the woods caught his attention and Alec hid himself, only to see the priest collar he wore.

He swore under his breath as he ran through the woods in the opposite direction.  He heard the sound of soft voices and the rush of a helicopter overhead and knew that he had to hurry.  They were almost on top of them.

He saw movement on the forest floor and scoped his sight to watch, too far away to do anything as he watched Max ,tears streamed down her face, Ben draped over her lap as he reached out and snapped his brother’s neck.

He wanted to scream out in fury, wanted to run to her and rip her head from her neck, but he couldn’t.  He only had one chance, one dreadfully hopeless chance and going after her would ruin it.  He could be patient for that though.  For revenge, he could be infinitely patient. 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -  
**  


He hid in the woods as the men moved through, too thick limbed and heavy to hide their movements from an ordinary, let alone an X-5.  He watched from the distance as Lydecker showed up and had the men move Ben back into the trucks.  The medical unit was already there and he waited as the men began working on him in a manner Alec had only seen once before.

Another man showed up seconds later, a battery of black cars and suits and Alec slid a little further into his hiding spot just in case.  There was some sort of argument between Lydecker and the other man, but then the suits left and Alec noticed the way Lydecker continued to glare after them.  Whatever it was, it wasn’t good. 

While the men had been arguing the technicians had Ben’s neck realigned and the electric stimulators were placed at the base of his neck and along the rest of his body.  They worked quickly, efficient and experienced in what they were doing.  If there was one thing he could say about Lydecker, it was that the man was ruthless when it came to getting ‘his kids’ back.  No one died if he could help it, and all things being what they were, transgenics were harder to kill than even they knew sometimes. 

He saw the moment the electric pulse moved through his brother’s body, his breath held as he waited to see if they’d been able to get the brain to function enough to repair the spine and synaptic responses in time. 

A few minutes passes as he waited and then he was watching his brother’s fingers twitch.  His knee jerked.  He saw the men say something to Lydecker and saw the smile as he leaned over Ben, patting his face lightly, almost affectionately. 

He wanted to rush in and save his brother but he knew he had to wait just a little longer.  Instead, he moved out of the woods and back to the road where his bike was waiting.  He pulled it around, knowing which way the trucks would have to go when they left.

It wasn’t the best plan, but it was all he could do on short notice and once they got Ben back to a facility it would be a lot harder to get him out, even if he could get to him before they re-indoctrinated him.  Ben wasn’t strong enough to fight it and if he went in, Alec knew he’d lose his brother.

When the truck came through, Alec jumped to the top of the cab.  He could hear the driver cursing from inside, but he moved in before the other man could think about it, pulling him out of the moving vehicle and dumping him on the side of the road.  There was one more man in the cab and Alec fired a single round into his head as he slid into the truck and brought the vehicle to a halt.

He could hear the medics in the back complaining.  They weren’t trained soldiers.  Alec only had a few minutes before the others were on top of them though so he opened the door and shot the two that were waiting at his brother’s side.

“Alec?”

He looked down to see Ben staring up at him, eyes wild but focused on him. 

“Yeah Ben, time to get you home.  I think you’ve had enough fun for one day.”

His brother nodded as he held his arms up for Alec.  Alec stopped long enough to raid the drugs they kept there then he turned to his brother.  It was easy enough to pick him out of the bed and carry him the distance to his stashed bike but he could already hear the others coming up behind them.  He hurried out of the woods with Ben at his back, arms wrapped tightly around him as he tried to maneuver his bike without damaging Ben anymore than he had to.

When they got back home he set Ben back on his bed, knowing that even with the healing, he’d need time to gain his full coordination back.  He poked the needle into his skin without warning and Ben’s eyes looked up hurt for a moment before the drug took effect.  He cuffed Ben to the bed, just in case he woke up while he was gone and then made his way out the door. 

He had an X-5 to kill after all. 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

He knew she wouldn’t go to Jam Pony after killing her once beloved brother so that only left him with one place to look for her.  He made his way up to the apartment and let himself in quietly.  He heard movement in the other room and he crept in. 

“You?”  The word came as more of an accusation than he would have expected, like they’d never shared anything more than heated looks across a bar.  It hurt though, to think that Green Eyes just might be involved with the would-be murder of his brother.

“What are you doing here?” 

The guy looked amazing, even in his shocked state he could see that.    He also looked confused and Alec had to consciously harden himself as he raised his gun on the other man.  His hands went up and his eyes widened but there was no sign of panic in his reactions.

“Woooo … anything you want you can take.”

“I want the girl.”

“What?”

“I know she’s been here.”

“You’re … why are you looking for her?”

“She took something of mine.”

“What?”

He rolled his neck as he squared his shoulders.  “My brother’s life.”

“Max isn’t a killer.”

“Funny, because she looked like one when she snapped Ben’s neck.”

“Ben?  Her brother Ben?”

Alec flinched at the words, though he wasn’t sure if it was because Max could still think of herself as Ben’s sister, or if it was because it meant the guy was too far into their world.  He just nodded, but he kept his gun steady.

“You’re an X-5 too, right?”

As much as he was trying to keep his face blank he knew his surprise had to show.  Few people knew about Manticore’s experiments and even fewer would know what that meant.

“Look, I don’t know what happened, but I’m not a threat to you.”

“How do you know Max?”

“She does some work for a friend of mine.”

“A friend of yours?”  He knew his voice was cold, but there was something dangerous in that statement, something that felt like conspiracy.

“Eyes Only,” the guy said with such quiet dignity that Alec didn’t doubt him.

Alec lowered the weapon and the guy let out a deep breath.  He wasn’t sure what to do then.  Max wasn’t there but the guy was bound to tell her he was looking for her.  She couldn’t run forever though.  Alec would find her and make her pay for trying to send Ben back to Manticore.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and realized he’d let his guard down enough for the guy to walk up to him.  “My name’s Logan.”

He sat down hard on the couch behind him, shock taking hold of him finally as the day’s events replayed in his mind.  He closed his eyes against the intrusion on the here and now, but there was something about the other man that made him feel safe.  He felt like he could let himself go and without meaning to acknowledge that, he already had. 

“Alec,” he finally managed to croak out.

“Alec?  Ben’s twin?”

He nodded because that was all he could do.  The fact that he knew that much of his history was too much for Alec and he shook his head.  “I have to go.”

“Whatever she did Alec, she did because she had to do it.”

“No.  She didn’t.  She left him dead in the woods to save her own ass.  Look, I’m sorry to drag you into this, but I thought she lived here.  I’ll go.  I just …“ he moved to the door as fast as he could, knowing the other man wouldn’t be able to move fast enough to follow him.  As he opened the door though there was a body blocking his exit.

Max.

“Ben?”

She had her arms around his neck a second later, her tears filling his ears.  It would have felt good if he hadn’t known they were relief.  He wanted to hear her pain.  He wanted to know that she felt the fear he’d felt when he didn’t know if they’d bring Ben back or not. 

He let her relax into his arms for a minute before he leaned in to whisper in her ear.  “Tsk tsk Max.  Can’t tell your brother from the closest thing with a pretty face.”

He was pushed back hard, Max’s eyes becoming as hard and distance as they had just been warm and loving. 

“Alec?”

He gave her his best smirk.  “The one and only.  Nice tears, especially after your work in the woods today.  It was a nice touch after you snapped his neck,” he bit out, “leaving his body to be found by them.  Were you planning on finding me Max?  Gonna tell me how he died?  Or just leave me to wonder what happened to him over the years?”

“I didn’t know you were still together.”

He laughed.  “Really?  You think I broke you all out of Manticore to keep them from killing him when they found out how unstable he was and then left him once he was alone in the real world?  Might be your style to walk Max, but it’s not mine.”

“Fuck you Alec!  I didn’t leave him.  He said he had to go with you, that you were going to take care of him.”

“Yeah, and then you walked your merrily way, never looking back.  Did you ever look back Max?  Ever wonder where your darling Ben was after all those years?”

“Stop it Alec!”

He spun at the new voice, pinpointing Ben as soon as he was in the room.  His movements were still jerky, his body not cooperating with his brain functions just yet, but he was still more graceful than a lot of ordinaries he’d met. 

“Ben, you shouldn’t be out of bed.”

“Well that would explain the way you tied me to the bed.”

“I didn’t want you to hurt yourself while you were recovering.”

He felt her moving before he saw it and Alec intercepted her as she tried to get closer to Ben.  “Looking to finish what you started?”

Tears streamed down her face as she shook her head.  “No, he asked me to.  I couldn’t … I wouldn’t leave him there to be found by Manticore.”

“And yet you did just that.”

“I snapped his neck.  He was dead.”

“Momentarily.  Get there quick enough with a little equipment and they can save us from just about anything.  Good thing our brains can go for so long without oxygen, huh?”

“Wait, you were there?”

“Got there just in time to see you kill him.”

“Alec, why were you there?”  Ben asked from behind him.

He turned to face his brother.  He didn’t bother to hide his movements as he brushed his scar.  “I got word Lydecker was closing in.  I came to make sure you weren’t in any danger of getting caught and showed up just in time to become a rescue mission.”

Ben looked down at the ground, trying to hide his shame at his behavior, but Alec knew it was only superficial.  His brother was capable of a lot of things, but remorse about his sacrifice for the Blue Lady wasn’t one of them.

“Jesus Ben!  She isn’t going to make it all better!”

“If we’re strong enough,”

“You wouldn’t need her if you were strong enough!”  Alec shouted back.  “If you were strong enough we wouldn’t have had to run in the first place!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He hadn’t meant to say it, but it had always just been a matter of time.  “You know what it means Ben.  You aren’t stable.  They were going to put you down, or worse, put you with the anomalies in the basement.  I got you out before they could realize how far it went.”

“So you got me out because you thought I was crazy.”

“I got you out to protect you.”

Ben snorted as he walked past Alec, reaching for Max.  “Hey Maxie.”

“Hey Ben.”  She smiled softly as she looked up at him. 

“Ben, don’t do this.”

“She loved me Alec.  At least she left for the right reasons.  You just pitied me.”

“I didn’t!  I fucking stayed, for eleven years I’ve taken care of you.”

He didn’t expect the fist to his jaw, didn’t see it coming even with Ben’s jerky motions.  “Well here’s your way out Alec.  I don’t need you anymore.”

Alec clenched his fists because he couldn’t fight Ben right now, couldn’t take out his anger in the way he really wanted to because his brother wasn’t whole.  Max looked back at Alec with sad eyes, but her fingers tightened in Ben’s as they walked out the door.

He wasn’t sure what happened after that really, but he woke in Logan’s bed, the other man asleep beside him.  They were facing each other and the way his hand was resting between them made Alec think Logan had been watching over him as he slept.  It was endearing and way too intimate for him to deal with.

He crawled quietly out of the bed and gave the other man one last look before heading out the door to his own place. 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

It took a few days for him to become more aware.  He ate when he was hungry and he slept most of the time.  His world revolved around those two things, until his phone rang.  And rang.  And rang.  And wouldn’t stop.  He knew who it was but he didn’t want to answer it.  He was too angry, too hurt and he didn’t want it to show. 

When he flipped it open he didn’t say anything.

“Alec?”

He grunted.  It was the most he had in him.

“Alec, please.  I just wanted to talk.”  His brother said softly.

“About your lame ass brother?  Yeah, I got that memo.  Your brother is lame and you were completely right to replace him with the upgraded sister model.  She comes complete with a set of “unit memories” and personality quirks that are sure to make you stand up and cheer.  All you have to do is trade in your current brother model who was only good for feeding, housing, and clothing your ass for the last eleven years, all without a word of thanks.”

“Alec.”

“In fact, if you order now, you’ll get a copy of the best selling book “How Alec sucks as a brother and how he should have just let you leave when you wanted to so he could have had a normal fucking life with one of the families that actually liked him!”

“Fuck it Alec.  I’m trying.  I’ll call in a few more days.”

The dial tone was gone before Alec’s anger was.  He knew what he needed and decided it was as good a time as any since he didn’t have to worry about Ben anymore.

He got up and got showered and headed out to Crash.  He needed to get drunk.  Or laid.  Or both.  He was an equal opportunity kinda guy after all. 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

He slid into the seat at the bar, ignoring the rest of the place.  He wasn’t ready to deal with people yet and everyone seemed to get that.   They left him alone and he was just fine with that.  In fact he was just fine with that until a few hours later, more alcohol than he could remember down his throat, and stumbling onto the dance floor.  He knew he was still graceful and he laughed bitterly at all the things Manticore had given him that he’d never wanted in the first place.  He just wanted to forget and everything about himself reminded him of his brother. 

He felt hands on his hips and he stumbled to a stop, ready to pummel whoever was in his way, only to find his very own Green Eyes standing in front of him.  Well not his own.  Max had known him first as well. 

“Alec?  You alright?”

“Yeah sure.  I’m always alright,” he said, smiling warmly at the other man.  Or at least that’s what he hoped it looked like.

“Good, because I was kinda hoping you’d saved a dance for me this time.”

Alec couldn’t help but take in the hopeful smile.  He had a vague memory of the way Logan’s fingers had caressed his face the other night and it was echoed in the way his thumb was running over his hip bone and he leaned into it for just a moment.

“Can I take that as a yes?”

“Take that as anything you want permission for tonight.”

Logan’s smile was warm and welcoming.  “How about we start with that dance then?”

Alec let Logan led him further into the dancers and he didn’t complain at all when the other man pulled him close, their bodies aligning perfectly as Logan started moving his hips to the music.

Alec followed his lead, letting himself get buried in the moment instead of the things still going on in his head.  “Don’t think I ever saw you dance when I was here before.”

Logan leaned closer.  “I only dance on special occasions.”

“How is tonight a special occasion?”

“I finally got you to myself on the dance floor.  That counts to me.”

There was something so, honest and almost reverent that it made him ache.  He’d always been the one to take care of Ben, always had to take the lead in everything.  He’d never been able to stick around long enough for anyone to care about him.  He couldn’t afford it.  Now though, he was alone without Ben to worry about.  He didn’t know how to take care of himself without that.

“Yeah, okay,” he managed to get out.

Logan’s hand reached out to his face and pulled him closer.  “Alec, I’ve got you.”

Lips brushed against his and he opened to them, opened to the press of lips and the offer that was made with those words.  Logan’s hips ground up against his and he moaned into the other man’s mouth.   The music moved around them, people pressing close and falling away, but Alec didn’t care about anything but the heat of Logan’s body and the feel of his hands, grounding him, keeping him afloat in a world that no longer made sense to him. 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

They stumbled into Logan’s apartment and he let himself fall against the other man.  His body was already kicking off the last of the alcoholic stupor he’d been in earlier but he was drunk off Logan’s touch.  He felt Logan smiling against his lips.  “Come on Alec, bed time.”

“Damn it’s about time.  Thought you were gonna tease me all night.”  He bit at Logan’s bottom lip and gripped his hips tighter.

Logan didn’t answer, but pulled Alec back with him, pulling clothes off as they made their way through.  By the time they got there, they were both naked. 

Logan pressed kisses against his neck and down his chest and it was all he could do to keep from forcing the other man further down his body.

“Logan…” he moaned as his Green Eyes nipped at his navel before blowing a stripe up Alec’s cock.  Logan did more than tease though.  His mouth followed the heated breath and he was swallowing Alec down.  He didn’t know where the slick came from but when Logan pressed slippery fingers against his hole he pushed back into it, welcoming the feel of the other man into his body.  He wanted more, needed more tonight and as Logan’s fingers slid inside him he opened to him.  “Yeah … more.”

The other man knew what he was, knew what he could take so he pushed a third finger in while he continued to suck him down. 

“Fuck, now, Logan!”

Logan’s mouth fell from his cock as his fingers slid from his body.  He felt the other man above him, felt the press of his kiss against his lips as his cock pressed into him and he let himself open to both.  Logan moaned over him and he smiled into his neck, biting softly at this jugular.

Logan pistoned in and out of his body and Alec wanted nothing more than this, for as long as he could have it.  He felt Logan’s hand wrapped around his cock and he rocked his hips up into his fist and back, spearing himself on his length.  When he felt his orgasm coming he gripped the sheets tight and pressed his lips into Logan’s neck.

The other man worked him through it, milking his cock as he continued to fuck up into his prostate.  Alec’s body hadn’t stopped shaking from the pleasure when Logan’s hips stuttered and Alec pulled him down, kissing the moans from his mouth.

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, but when Logan got up and cleaned himself up Alec sat up on the side of the bed.  He knew he should find his clothes and go, but he couldn’t find the energy to do it.  Or he just couldn’t find a reason.

“Stay.” The word was whispered in his ear as arms wrapped around his back and pulled him into the bed.  He didn’t say anything as he was pulled into Logan’s arms and he fell into pleasant sleep. 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

He woke the next morning to the smell of honest to god coffee.  Not the cheap kind he and Ben usually kept around the house, but something fresh and worth a fortune.  He opened his eyes and found himself looked up at Logan.  “Morning.”

“Good morning,” Logan answered as he took a sip from his mug. 

He must have caught the look Alec was giving his mug because he laughed as he leaned in, kissing Alec lightly.  “Go hit the shower and I’ll have breakfast ready.”

He didn’t think to tell him he usually had breakfast first, but moved into the man’s shower and had to bite his tongue to keep from offering his soul for a few days under the hot water spray. 

When he got out he felt like a new man.  Logan had left some clean sweatpants for him so he threw them on and walked out into the kitchen.  He was greeted with eggs and bacon, toast and actual butter.  A coffee mug was handed to him as Logan pushed him into the seat at the kitchen table.  He took the cup, moaning at the taste of it, and let that be his show of gratitude.  From the look Logan gave him he was sure the other man had gotten it.

Breakfast was slow and easy, neither rushing to finish.  Logan was a gracious host and kept the conversation light, flipping from one topic to another when Alec felt things were getting too in depth for him. 

When they were done Logan took the plates to the kitchen and left them in the sink.  Alec followed him and pinned him against the counter, kissing him until they both had to come up for air when the phone rang.

They both groaned.

“Sorry Alec, I have to get it.”

“Yeah, sure.”

He watched the other man walk into his office, wearing nothing but a pair of dark slacks.  He was at ease in his own skin, his movements confident and sure, but Alec’s attention was caught by the flash of metal in the corner of the room.  A wheelchair. 

“No, thanks Matt,” he heard Logan saying in the other room. 

He didn’t try to hide his interest in the conversation.  Logan already knew what he was so he knew Alec’s hearing.  He watched the other man hang up the phone and came up behind him, his lips pressed to the back of his neck.

“Bad news?”

Logan shook his head.  “Not exactly.  Just … its nothing.”

“Tell me.”     

Logan turned around and looked at Alec.  “Sorry, I’m used to having Max to call when I need some help and she’s a little occupied these days.”

“So, you need Max, or would any transgenic do?”

“What?”

“I might not be as pretty as her, but I’m pretty sure I can kick some ass when it’s needed.”

Logan pulled him in, pressing a deep kiss into his lips.  “Max can kiss my ass,” he said, letting his forehead rest against Alec’s.  “I don’t know about you, but I just want to forget about both of them.”

“Yeah.  Yeah, so then tell me what you need.”

“Alec, I didn’t bring you here to-,”

“I know,” Alec said with a smile.  “You were trying to get me in bed long before you knew I was an X5.” 

Logan laughed.  “Alright, but on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“I get to tell you in bed.”

“That’s my sort of bargain.” 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -  
**  


  
 

 

The job had been a simple snatch and grab from a corrupt politician, someone Eyes Only wanted to take down.  Done and back by night fall, followed by dinner with Logan.  He hadn’t gone home until the next morning and even then he’d wanted to stay.  Part of him couldn’t stop thinking about his brother though, the fear that Ben would find out and it would set him off on some sort of killing spree again.  He didn’t know where Ben was though.  Didn’t know anything except he was in the city somewhere with Max.

He tried not to be too needy and he hooked up a time or two more with Logan, once at a chance meeting at Crash and once when Logan asked for help again with Eyes Only.  He loved feeling needed though, loved that he could help Logan with something he needed that only a few people could, that Logan wanted to trust him with that.

Three weeks later though, when he still hadn’t heard from his brother he decided it was time to check in with Logan. 

He knocked on the door of Logan’s apartment, nervous but hiding it behind his best smirk.  The door opened quickly and Alec was taken back by the woman who answered it.  Dark skin and hair with beautiful brown eyes and a mouth that would probably be sin if he could see her smiling.  She looked him up and down and cocked her head to the side.

“Yes?”

“Um, is Logan home?”

“And you are?”

“Alec?”

He saw the other man coming up behind the strange woman and whatever reservations he might have had vanished as Logan smiled up at him.  “Hey, is this a bad time?”

“No.  Alec, this is Original Cindy.”

“A pleasure,” Alec said, as he looked at the woman.

“This - is Alec?”  She looked him up and down, nothing subtle as she checked him out.  He was tempted to turn for her but decided being a smart ass on their first meeting wouldn’t win him any brownie points.  “He does look the part.”

She backed away from the door then and Alec walked in, closing it behind him.  Logan was in his space then, arms wrapping him close, lips pressed to his in a soft kiss.  He would have liked to have taken things a bit further but he was very aware of the woman in the room.

Logan pulled back slowly, but his hand stayed on Alec’s arm, like he didn’t want to end the contact so soon either.

“I wasn’t sure if I should just stop by, but I realized I don’t actually have your number to call first.”  Alec said with a grin.

Logan laughed.  “You’re always welcome here Alec.  Thought you’d have figured it out by now.”

Logan didn’t make him answer though, instead walking into the other room where he and Original Cindy has apparently been talking.  “Really, I can stop by later if you were in the middle of something.”

“We were just talking about Max,” Logan said as he took a seat on the couch.  Original Cindy made a big deal of fluffing up a pillow on the chair before sitting in it and Alec took the hint.  “OC and Max are roommates.  Were roommates, whatever.”  He said with a shake of his head.  “OC knows about Max and Ben,” he said softly.

The words were warm and reassuring, at the same time letting him know that no matter what she knew about him, she didn’t know all of it.  He smiled at Logan, and then looked over at OC.  “So, you never met Ben did you?”

“Nope.  Boo just off and left with him.  Always knew that girl had some damage over her family, just didn’t know she’d drop everything.”

“Have you heard from Ben?”  Logan asked Alec as Original Cindy tapered off.

Alec’s brow furrowed as he looked between them.  “No.  I was coming over to see if you’d been in touch with Max.”  Logan looked at the woman and Alec pushed through his concern and started thinking in plans.  “How long since last contact Logan?”  He asked.

“The day uh… that we met at Crash that first time.”

He closed his eyes.  “That’s the last time I talked with Ben.  He was upset with me, but it didn’t seem like anything other than the normal distance.”

Logan looked up at him with surprise in his eyes.  “The way Max talked you two were pretty close.”

“Sure, you always keep close to the hand that feeds you, right?”  Alec said, moving through the apartment.  “Sorry.  Yeah we were close, but I wasn’t family, you know?  I wasn’t in their unit.”

“But you stuck with him, for eleven years?” 

He knew Logan wasn’t asking for confirmation but prodding for more information.  “Yeah.  Look, he was my brother and I sprung them so they wouldn’t kill him but he was always looking for her.” 

He wasn’t sure his next move was the best, but he had to know if there were other signs.  “You have contacts.  Anyone notice anything weird lately?”

“Like?”

“Deaths.  Bodies with barcodes.”

“You think he’s killing again?”

“Hold it.  Who is killing?”

He was surprised enough that Logan knew Ben was killing people but he didn’t give himself the time to think about it.  “Ben.  He’s not… stable.  I thought I could keep him under control but I couldn’t.  Maybe Max is enough to do that, but I don’t think so.  As bad as it sounds, I wish we had a trail of bodies.  At least then I’d know he was okay.”

“Who could have come after them?”

“Lydecker.  They had Ben and they had to have known another transgenic snapped his neck.  So they’d be looking for two of us already.”  Alec sighed.  “Look, I’ll go out and see if I can find anything at Ben’s hideout.  See what you can find out with your contacts.  Maybe they’ve already moved to another city?  He doesn’t start out with the bar codes and the placement.  Check for people found near rivers with a Blue Lady burned into their skin.”

“How many times has he killed Alec?”

Alec looked over at Logan and felt the first stirrings of tension between them.  “Eleven confirmed by the same MO, seven I think he was warming up on.”

“Eighteen murders Alec?”

“What was I supposed to do Logan?  Take him back to Manticore so they could take him apart?  Put him down like a rabid dog?”

“Bring him to justice?”

“Justice has nothing to do with us.  Justice would understand that someone did this to him and she’d find a way to make him better, but there’s no such thing as justice anymore Logan.  You know that.  It’s just vengeance and who you can pay off.  I was going to handle it, was getting some help for it when I found out about Lydecker.  Don’t think you know how to handle us just because Max played the tamed pet for you.  We’re predators Logan, we don’t do justice and it doesn’t do us.”

He left before Logan could say anything.  His eyes said it all for him, sadness and pain with steel underneath that said his argument hadn’t swayed the other man.  As he was closing the door he heard the stunned voice of Original Cindy “Logan, what did she get herself into this time?”

“I don’t know Cindy, but if anyone can find them, it’ll be Alec.”

“He couldn’t care less about Max.”

Logan snorted.  “Maybe not, but he cares about Ben.  It’s his twin Cindy.  He won’t stop until he’s safe and that means getting to Max too.  If I know anything about Alec, I know that.”

He closed the door softly, not able to handle the words anymore.  There was too much compassion there, too much faith when Alec didn’t have any.  They’d been gone for too long for any tracks to really mean anything and he’d just offered to go to the site to get himself moving.  He didn’t think he could find them unless they left a pretty damn good trail for him.     

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

When he got to the warehouse he knew there was nothing there for him.  It felt as empty as his apartment had been the morning when he’d stumbled out of his bottle and back into his skin.  He moved around, remembering the way it looked the day he’d found it.  Lydecker’s men had scrubbed the painted words off and they’d taken the weapons with them as well. 

He took a deep breath, trying to imagine what his brother was doing, where he could have gone, but as well as he knew Ben, he had no ideas.  Even if he had Max, he’d never expected to be left out of his brother’s life so completely.  It felt wrong and he wished he’d given in to his paranoia before now and hunted them down earlier.

He walked outside of the warehouse and made his way back to the spot he’d watched Max snap Ben’s neck.  As much as he hated to think about that moment, he knew it’d been hard for Max.  He’d seen the grief on her face as clearly as if he’d been standing at her side.  He’d been too caught up in his own anger at the time to be able to acknowledge it.  He wasn’t sure he ever would, but he could admit it to himself at least.  No matter what he thought about Max, he knew she cared about her brother.

He was about to turn away when something caught his eye.  He looked up, wasn’t sure what it was at first, just something niggling the back of his mind, but when he turned his eyes to the sky he could see the blinking message plain and clear.      

He stopped to call Logan along the way, but only to make sure someone else knew where they were.  He also passed along Zach’s information and asked him to call if Alec didn’t make it back.  Logan wasn’t too happy with it, but then Alec hadn’t expected him to be. 

He followed the coordinates and wasn’t surprised to find the suits waiting behind a wall of soldiers.  He wanted to try to rush the facility, but he knew better.  He needed back up if he was going to get Max and Ben out. 

He turned to walk back to the warehouse for his bike but was stopped dead in his tracks as the man he’d seen arguing with Lydecker dropped down from above.  He went into combat stance but the other man just smiled.

“It’s about time you came home Alec, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, guess I’ll see you around.”  He took a step back and the other man’s smile made him want to strike out. 

“We have them, 493 and 452.  452 has some rather, interesting, aspects but I have to say 493 doesn’t live up to the standard you set, does he?”

“What do you want?”

“You.  Come in peacefully and I’ll keep him alive.”

“Yeah, because I’m that gullible.”  Alec said, as he took a step back.

“I didn’t figure you would be.”

Alec didn’t have time to react before he felt something strike his neck.  He pulled out the small dart and looked back at the other man.

“White.  Ames White.  When you wake up, we’ll have plenty of time to talk.” 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

When he woke, it wasn’t in a cell like he’d expected.  The room was small, one door and a small  windows, but he was alone at least.  He looked up to see the small camera at the corner and smirked at it, in case they thought they were being clever.  Maybe he shouldn’t antagonize White, but he couldn’t help himself.  They hadn’t bound him like he expected, but then again Ames didn’t seem like the type of man that needed that.  He took a deep breath, trying to think about his options, the likelihood that someone would try to get him out, the chances of that succeeding, and lost himself in the planning.

The sound of creaking metal pulled him from his thoughts as the door opened.  Two men carried in a small table, then followed it back with two chairs.  They stood on either side of the door until Ames White came walking in with a tray.  He set it on the table and smiled softly at Alec. 

“I saw you were awake,” he said, indicating the camera with his eyes.  “Hungry?”

Alec wanted to refuse the food but there was no way to escape if he let himself get weak.  “Smells good,” he admitted as he looked at the tray.

Ames took a seat a pulled the lid off one plate, sliding it over to Alec while he took the other.  “It’s not fine china and classic music like we’d prefer, but until you can be educated it’s the least we can do.”

“Educated?”  Alec asked as he took a drink of water.  It tasted fine, nothing bitter or too sweet to hint at a drug.  “I thought Manticore managed that already.”

Ames let out a huff.  “Manticore couldn’t even hold you, let alone train you,” he said as he took a bite of steak.  Alec did the same.  He wasn’t sure what Ames’ game was, but he was trying to ingratiate himself in Alec’s life and Alec knew better than kick a gift horse.  At least until the stable doors were wide open.

“The truth is Alec, Sandeman stole you from us because you were perfect.  You were the product of centuries worth of selective breeding.  You were our pinnacle, our pride.  Even the name Alec means warrior.  Sandeman became vainglorious though, greedy and envious and he thought he could create an army for himself.  He took you and cloned you, used his science and tried to make others like you.”

Ames eyes were heated as he spoke, a fire from inside feeding his words and Alec couldn’t help but wonder at the passion there, and the all too familiar insanity.

“You were always different though.  All his notes, his careful modifications were no match for what we’d created in you.”

“I never stood out from the rest,” Alec said.

“No, you were too smart for that,” Ames assured him.  “Sandeman kept records of your activities in his home, away from the prying eyes of Manticore.  He was trying to keep your origins secret since he’d already failed with so many other versions of transgenics.  The X-5s were his first true success story, and it was all because he took you from us.”

Alec didn’t say anything to that, just continued to eat, enjoying the sustenance and hoping Ames would leave when he was done.  He didn’t know how Ames would react to his disbelief, to his inherent distrust of the man and his beliefs.  It was better to leave it silent until he knew more. 

“Don’t worry Alec.  We’ll take care of you and when we’re done, you’ll understand it all,” he said as he stood, moving towards the door.  “Someone will come back for the tray, but you can keep the table.  I’ll bring something for you to read later.  If you have anything you need, let me know,” he looked at Alec then turned away from the door, closing the space between them.  “I’ll be by later to check on you brother,” he leaned in then, pressing his lips to Alec’s in a chaste kiss. 

Alec didn’t do anything as he watched the other man walk out the room.  Manticore might have been overbearing and life on the streets has been hard, but at least he knew what was happening and where he stood.  A growing unease settled in his stomach as he thought about the light in Ames’ eyes and the press of lips against his.  Ames and whatever he was working for?  Those were just crazy.    

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

Two days passed the same way, with Ames taking all his meals with Alec.  It was always well prepared, and Ames seemed to take Alec’s likes and dislikes into consideration.  When he didn’t enjoy the wine he sent for beer.  When Alec didn’t like eggs for breakfast, claiming they reminded him too much of Manticore, French toast replaced it. 

Ames watched him closely through it all, even as he discussed politics and the world order, talked about Alec and how he was the perfect specimen of human, beyond human, beyond transgenic.  He never explained his beliefs, telling him that someone else more qualified was coming, but there was always a fevered pitch to his voice when he spoke of it. 

At the end of each encounter, Ames pressed another kiss to his lips, each time his hand found another way to touch Alec that wasn’t offensive, but wasn’t exactly fraternal either. 

He leaned into it, let his lips press back as Ames’ hand rested on his neck, his thumb stroking idly up and down Alec’s throat.  He didn’t know why he was doing it but it felt so damn good to just let him have this, let him touch. 

Ames rested his head against Alec’s as their lips parted.  “Alec, you have no idea what you’re doing to me.”

Alec looked up at the other man, his words making something else spark in his head.  He knew, without doubt, that he shouldn’t be reacting to Ames like he was.  Hell, he’d been trained by Manticore to resist brainwashing, but he couldn’t help but note the way he felt safe with Ames, even with his insanity.  He would protect Alec from the others, would save him because he believed Alec was something important. 

Alec knew it was all a lie though.  He thought about the way he craved the man’s touch, the way he felt soothed by the crisp feel of paper under his fingers when Ames brought him books or the feel of soft cotton as a blanket was placed over his sleeping form.

“What are you doing to me?”  Alec asked.  He had to, had to let them know that he knew something was being done even as he realized his mind was cloudy. 

Ames looked at him, a harsh smile painting his lips.  “Just as good as they said you’d be Alec.  You don’t disappoint.  I didn’t think you’d notice yet.  I didn’t think you’d notice until it was too late.”

“What did you do?”

Ames pressed another kiss to his lips and stepped back.  “Good night Alec.  Sleep well.”

When he closed his eyes though all he could see were the invisible strings that were tying him to Ames.  He was still awake when they came back, still awake for the injection this time and he didn’t have to wonder anymore why he was falling for the brainwashing.  They were drugging him as well.  He didn’t fight them, knew there was no way to escape just yet.  Instead he settled into his bed, heard Ames soft voice as he draped the warm blanket over him, and leaned his head into the soft press of lips behind his ear.    

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

When dinner came the next night Alec could feel the weariness in his body, the way his motions were clumsy and slow.  Now that Alec was aware of the drug they weren’t worried about handling it slowly.  He didn’t know why they were doing it, maybe because of his inherent immunity to drugs, the need to test the limits of his metabolism to see how quickly his body would rid him of it.  No matter why, he felt weak now, his mind no longer as focused as it could be, his reflexes less than half what they should be. 

And when Ames came in, he still wanted to lean into the other man’s touch.  Instead, he took a seat at the table as Ames brought the tray in.  As always, he was pleasant about it.  The previous night’s revelation seemed to make Ames even happier, like Alec had passed some sort of test and he wasn’t sure he hadn’t.  Ames smiled up at him as they ate, his glance almost shy at times if it weren’t for the heat buried beneath it.

He knew that he didn’t want that, knew that whatever they drugged him with was to blame for it.  It didn’t stop him from letting Ames back him against the wall though after the dishes were sent out.  He closed his eyes, feeling the press of Ames against his body, the warmth of his breath against his skin as he kissed Alec’s lips softly.  Alec responded to it, couldn’t stop his lips from parting.

When Ames pulled back his eyes were focused and somehow dangerous. 

“They’re going to come soon Alec,” he said softly.  “The others are going to be here to start your education and I won’t be there all the time.  You just need to do what I ask of you and it will all go smoothly.”

Alec nodded, a moment of panic settling in his chest as he thought of what they wanted him to do, of being without Ames to get him through it.  He closed his eyes and unbidden a pair of green eyes stared back at him.  Not Ames, someone else.  Someone who … cared.

“What do you want me to do?” Alec asked.

“Just don’t fight them Alec.  Do what they ask.  Do what they tell you.  You’re going to be magnificent Alec and when you rise I’ll be right there at your side to see it.”

He reached up with his hands and a voice inside screamed no, so he pushed hard against Ames.  “No,” he wasn’t sure why he said it, but something wasn’t right.  

“Alec?”

“You don’t,” he closed his eyes against the anger in Ames stance and found himself looking at green eyes again.    “You don’t care about me.  This is all just a game, some kind of trick to make me give up.  I won’t.”  He said, opening his eyes again.

“You won’t?”  Ames words were laden with menace and Alec knew he was in trouble.  He couldn’t think straight, couldn’t react quick enough against the other man if he chose to attack. 

“This is all just … drugs and brainwashing and I know it’s just a damn game,” he spit out.  As much as it hurt now, he knew it was true.

Ames didn’t react at first, just stared at him with that intense, crazy look he got.  Then he was moving so fast Alec couldn’t track it, grabbing Alec by the hair and throwing him across the room.  He caught himself with his hands and struck out, taking the other man by enough surprise that he caught him across the jaw.

Ames licked at the blood on his lip and then his features turned dark.  “You have no idea what they can do to you Alec.  I‘ve been protecting you.  I made sure you weren’t hurt.” 

Ames grabbed him roughly and he was thrown again, this time his head hitting the wall hard as he fell.  Ames threw him back on his bed and Alec had a passing thought that he was going to throw up all over the man before Ames had him face first on the bed, pressing his body against Alec’s back. 

“All I asked was that you listened to me Alec.  Since you can’t seem to do that anymore, I suppose I’ll just have to take another form of payment.”

He felt his pants pulled down from his hips, heard the jingle of Ames belt being opened and he let the blackness that was trying to creep into his mind take over, losing consciousness as Ames pressed tight to his body.    

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

Alec didn’t remember being hungry.  He didn’t remember being cold or unwelcomed.  He didn’t remember being worried or scared.  He knew it all meant something, knew in some part of his brain that wouldn’t stop cataloguing exits and possible enemies that he was being drugged into submission, but he couldn’t seem to care.

It was lunch time and just like every lunch, he sat across from a pleasant man in a dark suit who wore a ready smile and laughed at Alec’s comments like they were new and refreshing instead of rolling his eyes and scoffing.  He wasn’t sure why he preferred the scoffing in his head, but Ames didn’t notice Alec’s preference.

There was a loud noise and Alec found himself knocked to the ground by the force of it, an explosion he knew in his head.  Ames was screaming at the people around him and Alec could see out the whole in the wall to the gates opening across from him, could see a handful of men and women running through, buildings blowing left and right as they did.

Adrenaline shocked him as his whole body jerked away.  He wasn’t safe out in the open like that.  He didn’t wait for Ames, but began moving, ducking behind anything he could find until he had cover. 

“We have to get them out of here!” he heard someone calling.

It was a rescue mission.  He didn’t know who they were there to rescue.  Alec closed his eyes and tried to concentrate because something was buzzing in the back of his head, but nothing was coming.

He watched two children come hobbling out of a building, smoke filling the halls, billowing from open windows and doors.  Suddenly he knew what he had to do.  Taking a deep breath, he ran into the smoky hallway.

He could barely see but he knew he had to open the doors.  They didn’t think he listened while he was drugged but he listened.  He just hadn’t been able to put the pieces together.  Now that the adrenaline was coursing through his system the drugs seemed to be losing a little of their hold on his body.  He ran to the control room and found it deserted already, the transgenics locked in their rooms as a way to eradicate the world of Manticore’s existence in the face of an attempt to free them. 

He found the right control panel and opened the doors, then began looking for the right one.  Fog still clung to his mind, but he had to make sure someone was free.  He looked at the feed of the video cameras but he didn’t know what he was even looking for. 

He watched two of the X5s making their way through the complex, the names Max and Ben caught him unaware, but they were getting out and he knew that was important.  He was still looking for someone though and he couldn’t’ remember why. 

They found him anyway, the X5s who had made his life hell for so long.  The man in the black suit told him time and time again, reminding Alec.  “Alec, come on we have to get out.”

Alec looked down at Ben’s hand, outstretched and waiting for him.    “I have to get him out.”

“Who?”

He frowned and knew they were just as confused as he was.  Max grabbed his arm and started pulling him and he went because he knew they were getting out and he was supposed to be out too but it wasn’t as easy as that.  They jostled him between them and then they were back in the open field. 

He was pushed into a run and he followed, but not before Ames came out of hiding.  His appearance stopped Alec in his tracks.  The other man smiled at him.  “Remember Alec!  Remember where you belong!”

Suits pushed him towards a car then and transgenics pushed Alec towards a big truck and then they were free of the compound, with Alec completely lost and confused. 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

His mind was hazy enough that he didn’t recognize where they were going, didn’t even try to follow their path even though he could have looked out the window if he’d wanted to.  Max sat on one side of him and Ben on the other, though Zack was across from him, touching his knee and asking if he was alright off and on. 

He knew he wasn’t, but it didn’t seem to matter.  Instead he found himself looking at Ben.  He didn’t know why since he was sure the transgenic was better able to care for himself than Alec was at the moment, but it was true none the less.

Their destination appeared to be a large farm and already a small group of transgenics were getting the others off the first truck.  They hadn’t been able to take all of them, hadn’t even been able to get them to trust them enough to get in, but he didn’t know they were able to get so many out.

He kept trying to find his lost one, but he wasn’t there.  The images in his head didn’t make sense, but part of him knew that was conditioning and drugs and part of him was too confused to understand it.

Most of the others were passed along into other trucks, moving them along the road to someplace safer.  They stayed where they were though and everyone seemed to be waiting.

Alec didn’t understand what for, but he waited with them, quiet and staring up at the ceiling as he lay back on the soft mattress of the bed they’d given him.

When he closed his eyes, the darkness threatened to overtake him, but Green Eyes came from no where, offering him affection and guidance.  Green eyes, but two difference faces and he wasn’t sure which the honest one was and which was the deceptive one.  Someone had hurt him, had tried to take something from him but the other man only wanted to save him. 

“Do you remember?” a voice asked in his ear.  It was whispered but he knew the voice.  He was worried about his friends, worried that they might be hurt in everything that happened, but he remembered other things too.  He remembered Ames showing him Ben and Max on the grounds, sitting close together.  He remembered Ames telling him how they’d left him alone, how they’d been on the way out of Seattle with their bags packed when they were found. 

He remembered Ames telling him he was different, he was special.  That they had left because they could tell, that he needed to be with his own kind, with people like Ames.

“I remember you.”  He felt it was enough of an answer considering everything.

“It’s time to come home Alec.”

He liked the idea of home, liked the idea of a place to stay.

“Don’t even think it White!”

Alec was moving before he knew he intended to, his body a shield between Ames and Max.  He could see the shock in the transgenic’s eyes as he protected the man with his life. 

“Alec, come on, step away from him.  Ben’s waiting for you outside.”

“Ben left me.  He only ever cared about you.”

“No, that’s not true.  He loves you.  You’re his brother.”

“No, I’m not.  I’m not even transgenic.”

“What?”

Two more transgenics entered the room and Alec just looked back at Ames when they trained their weapons on them.

“He was never one of you,” Ames said, his voice sounding almost cheerful with the news.  “Sandeman took him from us and tried to replicate what centuries of breeding had created, but it didn’t work.  493 was unstable because of it,” he smirked.  “Science couldn’t create the perfect specimen, but we did.  Alec should have been raised with us, with his brothers, not playing babysitter to the genetic trash Sandeman created.”

Alec felt a surge of anger at the words.  He knew there was more underneath the drugs but he couldn’t see his way clear to it.  Ames was talking about his brother though and no matter that his creation hadn’t been perfect, it wasn’t his fault. 

“He would have been loved and cherished, not kicked around for whoever needed help next.  You have no idea what he is, and it’s time for him to come home now.”

“I’m not letting him go back to Manticore.”  It was Ben’s voice, hard and defiant.

“Who said anything about Manticore?  They were a useful tool for a while, but we’ve found our lost brother and it’s time to take him home to meet the family.”

“He already has a family.”

“You?”  Ames laughed.  “The child that he threw away his life for?  The boy-becoming-man who still can’t acknowledge the real world and whose fantasies made certain that Alec never got the attention from you that he deserved?  You’re not exactly a glowing recommendation for family.”

It was an interesting conversation to watch from his detached point of view, Ames and Ben fighting over him.  He knew why this was happening.  Ames wasn’t there as part of Manticore, but part of the Familliars, his families age old religion.  Alec’s too, if Ames was speaking the truth when he gave him just that tiny piece of the puzzle.  He didn’t doubt it, but being transgenic had never been the defining characteristic of who he was.  Protecting Ben had been.  Max was there for him now though and he could let go of that burden.

If Alec wanted to leave, none of them would stop him.  Not for long anyway, because once the drugs were out of Alec’s system then it would really be up to him.  They weren’t happy about Ames being there, but apparently his words were cutting through people’s doubts.  He could still sense the fear though, that Ames was holding more cards than Alec knew and everyone else knew it too.

He couldn’t make a choice between them though and he knew he was running out of time.  On one hand he had people he knew he’d spent most of his life with, people who hadn’t treated him that well.  Ever.  On the other hand, he had Ames, who hunted his supposed-kind and who had been looking for him for years. 

“Alec, you don’t want to do this.”

“Why not?” he asked, suddenly finding his voice.  “What do I have to go home to?  An empty apartment?  Maybe a phone call every few weeks to let me know you’re alive Ben?”

“No,” another voice entered the room and he felt Ames tense up behind him.  “You have me.”

Alec stared at the other man as he walked past the transgenics, seemingly unconcerned about the stand off that was happening right there.  “Come home Alec.  Come home with me.  It doesn’t matter what someone else says you are.  Just come with me.  It’s what feels right, isn’t it?”  Logan said, bringing his hand up to Alec’s hip, his thumb brushing over his scar.

“Back the hell up,” he heard Ames from behind him.  He felt the gun being drawn at his back and instinctively moved away from it. 

“Ames?”

“Alec, you belong to us.”

He looked at Logan and everything seemed to clear in his head.  He wanted to kiss the other man to the point where it was almost painful to keep his hands to himself, but he’d found a way to ground Alec, just like before.  He gave Logan a small smile then looked up at Max, hoping she read him the right way.

When Ames began to move again, Alec swung around, forcing the gun from his hands.  Whatever backup he’d been counting on was gone, the muffled shouts from outside the room when Max called back let him know that.

He didn’t say anything to anyone about it when he handed the weapon off, but went outside into the barn where some of the cars were being hidden.  Up in the hay loft it was easier to think through the remaining fog of his thoughts.

He knew that Ames hadn’t been lying, but he didn’t trust the man now that the last of the drugs was wearing off and he wasn’t disconnected from himself.  Whatever this cult was, they had ulterior motives for wanting Alec around and Alec wasn’t about to become someone else’s puppet, not when he’d spent so long staying clear of becoming Manticore’s. 

He heard the ladder creaking and didn’t need to look up to know who it was. 

“So, you plan on sleeping in the hay tonight?”

“Seemed like a good place for it.”  Alec said with a grin.

He felt Logan lay down beside him and he didn’t fight it when the other man pulled him close, pressing a kiss into his neck.

“Thought I was gonna go crazy when I lost you too.”

Alec snorted.  “Think I did go crazy.  Still feel it a little.”  It was too real, everything that had happened to him while he’d been held by Ames, the things he remembered and the things he could guess because the drug haze had kept him from acknowledging it.  He took a deep breath and settled a little closer to the only person who’d ever really just taken care of him. 

“Go to sleep Alec.”

“What?  Here in the hay?”

“Sure, why not.  Here in the hay.”

“Didn’t know you were so kinky.”

They were the last words before he feel into deep sleep. 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

 

With the morning light came clarity.  Not just the momentary adrenaline rush, but as Alec lay awake, still in the hay but covered with a blanket, lying with Logan in his arms, he knew this was where he wanted to be.  Nothing Ames could offer, even if his offer was true, would have ever given him what he had right there.

He might not have known Logan all that long, but in some ways it seems like a lifetime.  He knew everything he needed to know about Alec, about his past and what he was capable of.  He’d seen it himself and he’d still come for him.

So long as Logan wanted him, Alec wanted to stay where he was.

Ben would have to make the same choice, but Alec wasn’t going to let Ben force him away from Logan.  He wasn’t going to let the memory of Ames do it either.  He wasn’t going to run this time.

Logan stirred in his arms and Alec leaned down, pressing his lips lightly to the other man’s.  Logan sighed heavily, his arms coming up around Alec’s neck and pulling him in tighter.  Alec smiled against his mouth but let himself be manhandled by the sleepy cyber-journalist. 

“Morning.”  Logan said when he finally opened his eyes. 

“Morning.  You sleep well in the hay stacks?”

Logan smiled as he stretched.  “I had a good pillow.”

“Shut up and kiss me Logan.”

Logan laughed, but Alec found himself behind pressed back into the hay, his mouth captured in a lingering kiss.  He pressed his hips up, enjoying the lazy friction it caused and Logan’s hips joined his own.  The friction was good, maddeningly so.  When Logan’s hand reached down between them and worked Alec’s pants down just enough to expose his cock he moaned at the feel of Logan’s fingers wrapped around him. 

He returned the favor, letting his hands warm the way down his side and ass until he worked his hand into Logan’s unbuttoned slacks.  He moaned into Logan’s mouth and that was all it took.  Logan coated his hand, and Alec, seeing Logan so worked up, followed his lead. 

They fell back to sleep still wrapped up in one another. 

 

  **\- 331845739494 – 331845739493 – 332960013452 -**

When he woke the second time that morning, the body he saw wasn’t that of his lover.  “Ben?” he called his brother softly, not sure of his mood.

“Hey, you really awake this time?”  Ben asked as he turned around. 

“Looks like it.  Where are the others?”

“Food.  Planning.  Whatever it is they do around here.  Logan was helping get a few of the other transgenics moved out of the state and Max was trying to make breakfast.  When I left they were still arguing over how to cook eggs.”

Alec laughed.  “I’m gonna go with give the skillet to Logan.”

“I agree.  Max is crap in the kitchen.  Just don’t tell her I said that.”

“So … you happy now that you found her?”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you Alec.”

Alec signed, but he couldn’t really deny what he felt so he didn’t try.

“I love Max and the others, but… I love you too.  You took care of me better than anyone else could.  And I know I don’t say it, but thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”  He was stunned by the words, but he felt warm for it all the same.  He wondered if it was Max or Logan or even Ames words that had made them all realize how much he’d given up for his brother.  He’d never know, but it was one thing he could be grateful for in the whole mess.

“So … you and Logan?”

He looked at Ben, trying to see if there was anything dark in his eyes as they talked about it.  “Yeah, he’s got a pretty good head on his shoulders.  And he seems to like me for some strange reason, even knowing everything else about me.”

“What about what White said?”

He shrugged.  “I’ll find someone and see if they can tell.  It doesn’t really matter does it?  Either way, you’re still my little brother and Manticore was still my home all those years ago.  My unit is still out there somewhere just like most of yours is.  Ames might have been trying to get me to see what I should be upset about, but he never understood what it was like for me.  I always had you to take care of, someone to protect and love.  When he tried to take that away, tried to make me think it wasn’t worth it, there was no way to do it.  Taking care of you is just too written into my brain I guess.”

“I’m glad it is,” Ben said softly.

“Me too,” he looked down at his hands, unsure of how to say what needed to be said.  “You know it has to stop.  You have to get some help for this.”

Ben nodded.  “Max said the same thing.  Told me to get off my ass too, that she wasn’t going to cater to me the way you did.”

Alec laughed.  “You were getting a little flabby in the middle.”

“I was not!” Ben laughed.

“You boys behaving?”  Max asked from under the loft. 

Alec looked at Ben and Ben looked at Alec, sharing a small moment before dumping a bail over hay over the ledge on top of her.  She squealed and Logan started to laugh as he looked up at the brothers.

It wasn’t perfect, Alec thought as he looked at the others, but family never was.  They have their ups and downs like everyone else and in the end that was all that mattered.  He could do this though.  He could have this little slice of the world, with Ben learning to lean more on his sister as well as on him and with Logan at his side and in his bed.  Logan who was giving his life meaning as he learned to help him work with Eyes Only and his illegal broadcasts. 

It wasn’t what he’d always pictured for himself, but it was a hell of a lot better than he’d always planned. 

As for the rest of it, he was okay with letting the world take care of itself for a while.  When he jumped down from the loft and kissed Logan softly, the other man’s moans let him know that no matter what he did, there was family enough to go around.   

 

**Author's Note:**

> this was written for the smallfandom_bb challenge on live journal. Beta’d by the awesome alocine_89 who has been an amazing cheerleader for me! This, and so many other fics, might have dropped along the wayside without her support! Art for this was by davincis_girl and it was once again an amazing collaboration with her! She is such a wonderfully giving artist (and person). I was really blessed by her touch with these characters!


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